Dear cheapandflimsygrandeur,

IT IS HERE! The final day of NaNoWriMo. The end of the road. The last stop. The jumping off place. No matter what you’ve done with NaNoWriMo-whether you wrote 50,000 words or 5,000 or 500-you did something. Yay! Something! It’s something you didn’t have on October 31st! 

So what do you want to do with it? That’s the question. Only you know the answer. NaNoWriMo is a fine journey to take on its own, just for the sake of taking it. Or you could continue and keep working on your book. Auntie MJ can not tell you where to go, but if you choose to go on, she can advise a few ways forward. 

1. FREAK OUT. You did it! You did it! Time to get WEIRD! It’s time to eat strange cheeses and do some EXPERIMENTAL HANG GLIDING! 

2. GO OUTSIDE. Remember outside? It’s that place that’s outside. Take this slowly. Just go to the door at first and let your eyes adjust to the light. Slowly, slowly.

3. CALL YOUR FRIENDS. Remember your friends? They are the people not in your book. The ones with the bodies.

4. READ SOMETHING. Remember other books? 

5. EXERCISE. You probably need it.

6. COOK SOME FOOD. What have you been eating? Be honest with Auntie MJ.

This is a good time to get back to your regular pursuits.

Feel better? Good. 

Now, what do you do about your NaNoWriMo book? Here are your basic options: something, or nothing. Both are valid. There is nothing wrong with doing NaNoWriMo just for the sake of it and just LETTING GO. 

Or, you could continue working. Which involves doing more of what you were just doing, namely, sitting and writing. For an indeterminate amount of time. And this time, there is no NaNo group or shiny sticker at the end. However, there is A BOOK at the end. And the journey, no matter what, is one you make by yourself. But alone is not the same as lonely. You can join a writing group. You can show it to your friends. You can work your writing into your life.

But from this day on, it’s up to you. It’s ALWAYS been up to you. Auntie MJ wishes you the best, no matter what you decide.

And perhaps she will see you next year?

For her part, Auntie MJ is just STARTING her own NaNoWriMo. So maybe you can send advice to HER.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Love,

Auntie MJ

Dear saidreadertorider,

Joss Weadon once said: “There’s a time and place for everything, and I believe it’s called ‘fan fiction’.” J.W. always speaks the truth.

On day 29 of NaNoWriMo, it’s time to start discussing the state of your brain.

You have come to Auntie MJ with a question, and it is Auntie MJ’s responsibility to tell you the truth as she knows it. And Auntie MJ says this as someone who often seems a few pieces of toast short of a toast loaf … when you start talking about your characters like they are real, people get annoyed. And for good reason. They aren’t. 

And trust me, Auntie MJ knows you know that, and she certainly sympathizes, but … they still aren’t. When you talk about them to other people, it annoys them because you are talking about people they don’t know. You are talking about people who are members of a very exclusive club, one that meets IN YOUR BRAIN. It’s like namedropping, with an added dose of, “Maybe you should be on some medication.”

Sometimes, our imaginary friends become a big part of our life.

I say this as a friend, saidreadertorider, and as a professional. If I went around talking about all my characters like they were real, two things would happen:

1. People would punch me in the face everywhere I went.

2. No one would want to work with me, because I would be “insane.”

Quirky is fine. A quirky writer is expected, even welcomed. But insane writers are generally to be avoided. So if you plan on Going Pro, this is definitely a habit to drop.

And I’ll give you another, better reason … when you start getting friendly with your characters, it becomes harder to make them do what they need to do. You need to make your characters do unpleasant things sometimes. Ugly things. You need to have bad things happen to them. Sometimes, you need to kill them. And if you are fraternizing with them in the off-hours, this becomes hard. 

It’s actually good to reserve a place where you can just BE with the characters. That place is when you are working on the story, either physically, or just in your mind. It’s okay to imagine them as you are doing things. And hey, if you want to keep doing this, Auntie MJ is the last person who is going to stop you. Auntie MJ runs a home for five hundred imaginary wayward hamsters, after all. But this is her advice on the subject, which you can take or leave at your pleasure.

Lovingly,

Auntie MJ

My dear alinatheduck,

You do not make things easy on Auntie MJ. That is okay. What is the point in asking easy questions? 

I can only answer this question in general, because I don’t actually know what’s in your story, what specific religions and specific views and specific arguments. And that’s fine. Let’s look at it generally. And let’s take the sentence I have italicized above: what is the point in asking easy questions?  Novels, at their heart, ask questions about why we live the way we do. Why we make the choices we make. Even novels you think of as “trashy” might pose some very serious questions about love, sacrifice, loyalty, family…

Also, novels both deviate from and mirror reality in a way to shed some light on our general situation, this wonderful predicament we call life. Now, if every character in your novel had exactly the same views, the views of the author, some prescribed message … that would not be much of a novel. Because everyone would be the same. It would just be a creepy group of people who went around agreeing with each other. This would not be ideal, unless you were trying to draw a picture of a creepy society, and even then, you’d really need a contrasting character to highlight how creepy that is.

Because difference is good. Can you imagine how freaked out we would be if everyone said the same things, or looked exactly the same? This is the stuff of nightmares. This is some uncanny valley, Stepford Wives, the robots are taking over, 1984 stuff.

It is also important to remember that YOU ARE NOT YOUR CHARACTERS and that NOVELS ARE NOT LITERAL INSTRUCTION MANUALS. They aren’t cookbooks. You don’t just read straight down the line and follow everything on the page.* Novels aren’t just WORD LISTS. They are documents to be taken AS A WHOLE. So if people decide to be offended because of something your characters do, then they are missing the point of reading. And there is nothing you can do about that. 

If someone has a problem with what you write, let them talk to you about it. But you can’t scrub your story of something difficult to avoid potential complaints. Trust me, those people will find something to complain about no matter WHAT you do. You’d be amazed at the passages people will pull out and scream about. There is no predicting it. 

The story is a story, which means that it contains difficulties and characters with different personalities and opinions. People write about characters that are NOTHING LIKE THEMSELVES. JK Rowling is not like Voldemort. Stephen King is unlikely to chase you around a remote resort with a hatchet. Harper Lee was not promoting racism. 

The fact is, we have a lot of things inside of us, a lot of conflicting, weird stuff. Writing is a way of accessing it. And that’s good. It’s a way of understanding each other, even the stuff we don’t like.

So while I do not know exactly what is going on in your book, I cannot advise avoiding these difficult things. Is it hard to write some scenes? Yes. Might people react strangely? Yes. But they also might not. And people change. And that is the point.

Good luck out there,

Auntie MJ

* In my experience with book banners, this is a common problem. Book banners tend to read with a weird and selective eye and a highlighter in hand. They aren’t reading the story-they are scanning for words they don’t like. They highlight these words to make their complaint. And they do so not because they want to help, but because they want to be seen in the local news or in the town meeting or even on the big morning television show being “righteous.” When in fact they have failed the primary reading test: the comprehension test. This is one of the many reasons it is dangerous to give in to them: you can’t let people who don’t know how to read control access to books. This is truly giving the inmates the keys to the asylum. 

lacitedamour asked you:

Oh lacitedamour of my heart,

Here is a fact that people love to pull out at parties*: Shakespeare is credited with adding 2,000 words to the English language. Did you know that? Now you do.

And yes, English allows for the making up of words. We even have a word for it! Neologism. A newly coined word or phrase. But I will point out that neologism has a second meaning in psychiatry: a word used by a patient with a mental disorder that has no meaning except to that patient. 

Which is to say this: yes, you CAN make up words. Many fine novels, plays, and poems contain totally made-up words. But it is ALSO true that English is a RICH language that has grown in leaps and bounds since the time of Shakespeare. No one can actually COUNT how many there are, but the Oxford English Dictionary estimates that it is somewhere around a quarter of a million. Chances are, that word you seek ALREADY EXISTS. You also might invent something that you think makes sense, but actually is just kind of weird (see second meaning of neologism).

However, weird is often good. For example, there is JABBERWOCKY, which is almost entirely composed of nonsense words, and yet it is awesome. 

So there is no answer for this. But since Auntie MJ likes to provide some guidance, I would suggest looking to see if there is a word that might mean what you are trying to express. If you look up the word in a dictionary or a (shudder) thesaurus, you can find related and similar words.

With loving frubosity,

Auntie MJ

* Not very good parties. Also, symposiums, awkward silences, and at any gathering with more than five English and/or Theater majors in one room. 

Today’s Ask Auntie MJ column takes the form of this video. Auntie MJ is not abdicating responsibility-it is a holiday. And there is a lesson to be learned. It is easy to get VERY CAUGHT UP in something, like a NaNoWriMo draft, and start forgetting to TALK TO PEOPLE and SPEND TIME WITH THEM. So today she is doing that. (And, okay, possibly working on her own book, which is due soon, but ONLY AFTER she spends time with people.)

She also does not eat turkey, so she is glad is turkey is getting away. Hey! WRITING PROMPT: WHERE IS THE TURKEY GOING?

Dear afashionablefrown,

When Auntie MJ was a Teenaged Auntie MJ, she wanted to drive. My mom didn’t want me to drive, and kept on giving me reasons why the process had to be delayed. One day, when I asked for my learner’s permit (for the twentieth time), she replied, “You can’t get your learner’s permit until you’ve had more practice.”

(Note to anyone unfamiliar with Pennsylvania driving law: a learner’s permit is the thing you get that allows you to practice driving.)

She made this remark by accident, but for me, this beautiful Catch-22 told me all. I was going nowhere.

While this annoyed me greatly at the time, it’s been a useful lesson in how to deal with a draft. This sort of thing, the “I can’t start until I have done XYZ” is common. In this case, you can’t start the writing until you’re finished this outlining, ergo you can never start. You have set up conditions for yourself that have made it permissible never to write your story.

You may start to feel crazy.

Not to fret! This is a common enough problem. Rest assured the same is true of ALL these writing problems: you didn’t invent them. Someone else has had them. Probably someone you really like. The first and most important step in this case is to realize that this is just a trick your fears are playing on you. (You seem to already be aware of this on some level—now you just have to say it loud and clearly.) This whole not being able to start thing? It’s an illusion. Brush it aside. Fling it with great force, if that works better for you. As they say in the Matrix, THERE IS NO SPOON. Here is why:

1. That “vital detail” is a game that never, ever, ever, ever, ever ends. It’s called “writing.”

2. We can draw from that that what you are doing with that outline is WRITING THE FIRST DRAFT. Hooray! Consider it finished. You will find those “vital” details when you get into the next draft.

Really, this is completely psychological. Declare the outline done. If you need to, make a sign that says THE OUTLINE IS DONE and hang it above your desk. Now begin again, fresh, unencumbered, free. 

Licensed to drive,

Auntie MJ

Dear erraticartist, 

Your question fills Auntie MJ with joy and she happily provides the answer: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. In fact, there is everything RIGHT about that. To write for fun … that’s healthy and quite excellent INDEED.

There is a lot of talk about how the NaNoWriMo books must be rewritten and edited extensively after completion … but this is usually because people ask, “How do I publish my novel?” And that is how you publish a novel. You finish it, and finishing it means rewriting it.

But there is every reason to do NaNoWriMo because writing is GOOD and joyful. Because it allows you to express things you want to express. It’s okay to do it as a game. In fact, it’s great! It is perhaps the BEST reason to do NaNo. It’s really best under ALL conditions to write a book just because you want to. There is no other reason to do it. If you want to write books for money and fame* then you perhaps are barking up the wrong cellphone tower.** There is precious little money or fame to be found in the business. And books written for money and fame tend to feel like books written for money and fame. They have a hollow ring and an empty center.

There is a certain obviousness to books written for money and fame.

Write what you want. Do it for yourself, and if you feel like it, the entertainment of your friends. And if you are one of those people who wants to take it to the next level, then fine. But that first level is a good and beautiful place. And it is the place many people who write for a living try to return to when the deadlines come and the business part starts to feel weird.

So DO YOUR THING, my friend. 

With adoration,

Auntie MJ

* Tagline stolen from my friend Scott Westerfeld. And he’s joking, FYI. TO MAKE THIS VERY POINT.

** I’ve never seen a dog bark up a tree. But I do see a lot of those cellphone towers made to look like trees, except they look NOTHING LIKE TREES. I just wanted to bring them to the public’s attention. WE KNOW THEY ARE NOT TREES. STOP TRYING TO FOOL US, BIG TELECOMMUNICATIONS! 

lisapizza asked you:

If you have reached the end, CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU! (Or near the end! Or whatever! For the purposes of this answer I must assume that there is some kind of nearness to an end.) First, you must celebrate your achievement.

But you are right. Now, the work starts all over again. In many ways, in begins IN EARNEST, because now you have some material to work with. This is hard work, but rewarding. For many people, this is where the fun starts.

Writing, of course, is rewriting. I know, I know. You’ve heard it. But it’s true. Now that you’ve written it once, you really have to write it again. You might write it a few times. It may have taken 30 days to produce what you have now, but there is no telling how long this next part will take.

But FEAR NOT. Auntie MJ has tips. TIPS, mind you. Not instructions. How you do this is totally up to you, and everyone writes in their own way. But these are some things that many people find helpful.

1. Get away for a while. You’ve been looking at this thing for too long, and too closely. You don’t even know what you’re looking at anymore, do you? STEP AWAY FROM IT. You might want to take a few days, maybe even a week or two away from the book. I suggest picking an amount of time, though. Because some people step away and continue stepping away, and before you know it they are on the other side of the continent and running fast. Pick a date you’ll come back, and have things ready for yourself on that date. Nice clean desk. Nice mug. Nice fresh mindset.

2. Maybe send it out to some people to read. If you feel you have good readers, maybe see what people think. Be aware, though … a good reader is a wonderful thing, but sometimes hard to find. Some people will read your work and not want to offend you. Some people just give crappy notes. Pick people you think would be good at reading critically, people who can give you some solid feedback.

3. Or don’t. You don’t have to do step 2. A lot of people feel that first drafts are much too raw for comment.

4. Read it. Sit down and read it with your fresh eyes. The book may be different from what you remember.

5. Sketch out the plot. What happens? Graph it out. Make notes on what actual important thing happens in each chapter or section. Look at this as a whole.

6. Make your own notes. Give yourself a few major tasks to handle. First revisions are about BIG EDITS. You can do ANYTHING in a first revision. I usually blow my books up between the first and second draft and REBUILD it with the pieces.

7. Make a schedule for yourself. You got this draft done because you were following a structure. That’s how you do it the next time. Give yourself a reasonable, but not loverly loose, time perimeter. Decide how much you need to accomplish each week. Put your plan on your wall, or put it in your computer, or chisel it into a rock … just make it real and tangible.

8. Don’t be scared to GO BIG with the changes. Seriously. This is when you rip out HUGE SECTIONS like the HULK. That’s right. This is HULK EDIT! HULK SMASH DRAFT! MAKE NEW DRAFT!

HULK NO LIKE THIS CHAPTER. CHAPTER HAVE NO POINT. CHAPTER GO.

The important thing is to KEEP GOING. I always say this BECAUSE IT IS TRUE.

SMASH!

Auntie MJ

butonlyslightly asked you:

Should I worry about the title?

My true love butonlyslightly,

The word worry has two meanings. The first meaning is to think about something in an anxious way. The second is to work at something, to gnaw or pull or tug until it gives way. Auntie MJ suggests that the second meaning is more useful here than the first. You don’t need to worry about the title. There is no need to rock back and forth, clawing at your own hair. Titles come when they come, and titles can be changed.

My favorite title story is that of The Great Gatsby. Fitzgerald had a VERY HARD TIME figuring out what to call his book. He considered: Among Ash Heaps and Millionaires, Gatsby, The High-Bouncing Lover, On the Road to West Egg, Gold-Hatted Gatsby, Trimalchio, Trimalchio in West Egg, and Under the Red, White and Blue. He really wanted to go with Trimalchio in West Egg, but was advised that the reference was too obscure. Even after the book was in and more or less ready to go, he was still trying to change it to Gold-Hatted Gatsby or Under the Red, White, and Blue. He was never happy with The Great Gatsby. Generations of readers, however, have found it to be quite good. It’s iconic and clean. Most of his other titles are, frankly, kind of fussy. Some are hard to understand. Any, however, would have sufficed. 

So you see, even FAMOUS WRITERS pull out their hair over this, but at the end of the day, the most important part of the book is the book. (Also, you’ll see from this story that titles OFTEN CHANGE or go through development stages, and they are often worked on in conjunction with an editor.)

You certainly don’t need a title to get the book done. It was that way for me with my newest book, The Name of the Star. I didn’t have a title for it for 13 months. It was just called “the book.” But I did have a notebook I kept running in my spare time, where I would jot down possible titles. I came up with about 150 or so that didn’t seem quite right. Then one day, boom. I knew the title. I called and said, “HERE IS THE TITLE.” And everyone said, “YAY!”

But with the second book? I knew. Boom. It just came out during the first draft. I knew it should be “The Madness Underneath.” One took over a year. One just fell out, as snow falls from the sky … soft and gentle.

Don’t sit around holding up your book because of the title. Keep a piece of paper with some ideas. For NaNoWriMo, it seems perfectly acceptable to have no title at all by the end of the month! Give it a working title, or a ridiculous title, if that helps you get on with it. (I usually have a ridiculous fake title when I am just starting something. It gives me something AMUSING to look at when I start working.)

With love,

Auntie MJ